We need a new goalkeeper. Seriously.

"I don't need to convince anybody – I just do my job. I have a couple more years on my contract and that's it, I'm an Arsenal player."

- Manuel Almunia, not convincing anybody

It’s good that Almunia doesn’t feel the need to convince anybody, because he ain’t convinced nobody with his performances. Almunia concedes goals in crucial games. Almunia can’t command his penalty area. Almunia can pull off a couple of blinders in a game, but over the course of a season, he’s going to cost you more points than he’ll save.

We need a new ‘keeper.

I hope we get somebody. The transfer season’s rapidly drawing to a close, and if we don’t sign a ‘keeper, I’m going to be depressed. We’re still linked with Schwartzer, and while I’m stoked that we could be signing an Aussie, it’s still a bit depressing when Schwartzer’s main quality seems to be that he’s NOT Almunia.

Another ‘keeper that isn’t Almunia is Fabianski. I hope we sign someone else because Fabianski isn’t the answer, either. Btu if it came down to a choice between Almunia and Fabianski, I’d go for Fabianski. At least Fabianski’s funny, and his presence would highlight the fact that we desperately, desperately need a new ‘keeper.

So on the 266th last day of my 20s, I went to work and had a long chat with the GOMD’s sister. She keeps telling me to give it up, to stop with the heartache, to let it go and accept that it’s an impossibility. She tells me to find a girl who loves me for me, and to stop twisting myself into knots thinking about this one, unattainable girl.

So I asked her to tell me the GOMD’s worst flaw. She thought for a very long while, and all she could come up with was that the GOMD was passive - she’d never initiate; she needs her space; she can seem disinterested to the point of neglect. And the only thing I could think of was that that’s like me, and that I’d understand her moods perfectly because I feel them myself.

So in the ten months I’ve known her, the GOMD has shown herself to be pretty, intelligent, nice, sweet, wholesome, kind, funny, naughty, sincere... I’ve been racking my brains for a while now, trying to think of bad things about her, and I can’t think of anything. And the worst thing that her sister - the person who knows her best - can come up with is a passivity that I completely understand and share.

She’s the GOMD for a reason, obviously.