A 6-0 win, but we're still crap

"He had a good preparation for the first time in a long time. He takes life in a positive way. He sees the glass as half-full so he took it as another challenge. That's what's amazing about Theo."

- Arsene Wenger, on hat-trick hero Theo Walcott

We beat Blackpool 6-0 last night, Walcott got the first hat-trick of his Arsenal career, and we kept a clean sheet. But we're still crap. Let's not go over the top with this result, and start predicting league trophies and European success. We're still crap. We were crap before Blackpool, and we're still crap after Blackpool. The nature of our crapness is such that it'll be the constant in a season of fluctuating form, amazing wins and frustrating losses, horrific injuries, stylish play and the inevitable dreadful goalkeeping errors. If we keep hold of the fact that we're crap, we'll be able to ride the emotional roller-coaster of an Arsenal season a bit better.

Theo was impressive, but remember, it's just Blackpool. Where was Theo against Liverpool? Where was he in the World Cup? Where was he last season? Theo is a flat-track bully who can punish teams who are in awe of him (i.e. Blackpool) but who doesn't have the nous or guile to overcome a disciplined, organised Premiership-level defence. He's a nice boy, for sure, but remember, he's still crap.

Look at Chelsea. They've just beat two sides 6-0, and you don't hear them saying that they're going to win the league, or that they're going to dominate Europe. Chelsea beat Wigan 6-0, and they shrug their shoulders and just get on with it with natural cool.

In fact, I'm furious at Arsenal for wining 6-0. How dare they score so much in a game that didn't require it, and score so few in games that matter, such as against Liverpool? Why do they play with sparkle and invention when they're against crap sides, and why don't they show up against sides that are organised? It's like they're taunting us with their ability.

We still need a central defender and a goalkeeper. Almunia and Fabianski are liabilities. And Song's playing at centre-back in the second game of the season. Think about it - our back-up, back-up centre-back, the one who's our first-choice defensive midfielder, is being drafted in because all available cover has been used up, by the second game of the season. I shudder to think what will happen if we don't sign a defender in the next few weeks.

And I don't know if this post is a wind-up, or sarcasm, or where it's genuine. Got a grinding headache above my left eye, and I'm not feeling straight at the moment. Who knows, I might've morphed into a bitter, disenchanted gooner who cheers when we lose and boos when we win, all because I hate Wenger so much that I'd wish us to lose in order to drive him out.

I hope not, though. I hope it's just the headache talking.

So on the 246th last day of my 20s, I sat opposite the GOMD at lunch, and she didn't make my headache go away. So I'm not sure whether she's got miraculous powers after all. She might just be a special, special girl who lights up my life but who doesn't have the ability to cure physical ailments. Oh well, no one's perfect.

Also dragged four friends along to watch me get a haircut. I wanted us all to get matching haircuts, but I was the only one shaggy at the time. So they just sat around and gave moral support. Really touching, I suppose.