Does a failed transfer bid count, if it failed?

"If you're happy in a dream, does that count?"

- Arundhati Roy, God of Small Things

Rumor has it that we made a £20m bid for Pepe Reina from Liverpool. I can’t see it happening. Firstly, because Liverpool are on the brink of being a solvent, sugar-daddy loving club again. Secondly, because there’s not much time left in the transfer season and there’s no way Liverpool will let go of ‘keeper like Reina this late in the window without a successor. And thirdly, does anyone really think Wenger will pay £20m for a player?

Still, you read that rumour and it soothes some of your anxieties. You start thinking that we’re still making progress, that Wenger hasn’t given up the hope that we can sign someone who’s better than Almunia or Fabianski. And you even dare to hope that we’ll sign someone good. You start to hope and dream about the new season, and you even start to get that buzz of excitement about the new season. And so when I read that story about our bid for Reina, that question from God of Small Things popped up in my mind.

So does a failed transfer bid count, if it failed? Because as Estha said, the truth is that only what counts, counts.

From a purely pragmatic point-of-view, it doesn’t count. You might be excited for a few minutes, but on the 15th August, we’re still going to take the field with Almunia or Fabianski. Being linked with a great keeper isn’t the same thing as buying a great keeper, and it’s not going to stop us conceding a weak goal in the 55th minute of the first opening match of the season.

From a morale point-of-view, it counts a bit. Oscar Wilde said that the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. And he’s right - at least this transfer rumour shows that we’re trying. Yes, it may be a horribly cynical exercise to placate angry gooners, but even if it is a publicity stunt, it still shows that the Arsenal have heard our discontent and are trying to address our concerns.

From a pure entertainment point-of-view, though, it’s outrageously funny. Reina was the MC in Barca-shirt-gate, so the idea that we’d be linked with him a month later is comic gold. I’m just waiting for the day when Reina gets pinned down in the street and has an Arsenal shirt pulled over the top of him. I’m sure it’ll be on youTube one of these days....

So on the 361st last day of my 20s, I felt the after-effects of the 362nd last day of my 20s. On my 362nd last day, I hung out with a group of people for way too long, purely because the GOMD was amongst them. It’s getting fairly upsetting to be near her, but not being with her, so I purposely tried to avoid to her. But all night, I felt like a fly on a string - I kept desperately trying to leave, but couldn’t stop hovering around her. About 1:30am, she came over and talked to me, and because of that, I couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night.

And I missed my daily blogging for the first time in 100 days.

On the 361st last day of my 20s, I struggled at work due to lack of sleep, bought some paint for the new house (we’re freshening up the white walls with a new coast of white paint), and then slept most of the day. Been a bit of a blur.

And I’m wondering about the GOMD, about how these emotions are all in my head and are not reciprocated, about how I can hang around her for 5 hours and then be completely buzzed because she talked to me for a few minutes towards the end... and then this song comes into my head. And yeah, I’m an animal trapped in her hot car, I’m a moth trying to share her light, and I’m completely, utterly, head over heels fucked up.