Hasn't Hleb Left YET?

“I have always said that Hleb is an incredible footballer and what he has done is underrated, well, everything that he DOES, because he is still an Arsenal player. That kind of footballer deserves more credit. But I tell it to you, he is an incredible footballer. I hope we’ll carry on playing together for years.”

- Cesc Fabregas, expressing how we all feel

Please stay, Hleb. You're a fucking excellent footballer with loads of talent and ticker, always with the match-winning goal and always playing with Arsenal pumping through your veins. Everyone's behind you and we're all nervous as shit that these foreign clubs are taking our Belorussian cupcake away from us.

We forgive you for having ice-cream with Inter Milan. We understand why you're presenting yourself to Barcelona. We welcome you back with open arms because we love you and we appreciate your amazing dribbling skills and dead-end plays. We can't live without you.

We'll give you a nice fat contract extension past your 30th birthday. We'll help you move your furniture back into your nice, quiet Hampstead house. We'll paint it red and white and call it Amish. We'll chip in for a couple of cows in the front yard to complete the picture of bucolic splendor. We'll even get you a set of ear-muffs for those terribly noisy nights. Just don't leave us.

Sheesh!

Can't this guy leave already?