Ashley Cole's taking the piss

"According to the Sunday Mirror Chelsea star Ashley Cole could be heading for a showdown with the club following his wage demands, in a similar situation that led to the player’s acrimonious departure from Arsenal."

- Andrew Allen, sports.co.uk

Ashley Cole wants a pay-rise. He's asking for an extra £60,000 a week so that he can match the wages of his mate John Terry, who is on £150,000 a week. In addition, he wants fame, respect and affection from the Chavs.

And after that, he wants a pony.

Turns out that Chelsea aren't willling to break their "wage structure" to accomodate Cole. That's pretty scary stuff. If Chelsea aren't willing to pay crazy money for Cole's services, who is? Chelsea are the craziest of crazies when in comes to hyper-inflated wages.

I'm going to go out on a lim and predict the next few weeks; Ashley Cole crashing his Bentley and screaming "you're taking the piss, Jonathen!" when he hears that his £150,000 a week proposal has been turned down; Ashley Cole meeting up with Man City to learn that he's being underpaid at £90,000 a week; Ashley Cole weighing up the prospects of playing out the rest of his career at a top club like Chelsea, or three or four more years playing for silly money at a silly club like Man City; Ashley Cole lining up next season in light blue and greenbacks.

Then again, you can't really expect too much from Ashley Cole. But I am disappointed with Kaka's move to Real Madrid. It's okay to switch clubs for fabulous amounts of money. And it's okay to play for Real Madrid; when you get down to it, it's probably more immoral to play for Milan since it's used to enable a corrupt president to remain in power and avoid impeachment. It's just that he's spent most of this year saying how much he loves Milan and wants to stay there forever. It's just not right to talk out of your arse. It's dishonest, if nothing else.