I've been medicated

“It seemed like this was one big Prozac nation, one big mess of malaise. Perhaps the next time half a million people gather for a protest march on the White House green it will not be for abortion rights or gay liberation, but because we’re all so bummed out.”

- Elizabeth Wurtzel

Say what you will about Prozac, but I'm not sure what I'd be doing right now if I wasn't medicated. Going out of my mind, maybe. Thinking thoughts that really don't help, possibly. Wishing things were different and sinking back into that pit of depression, probably.

Which is to say, I'm quite grateful for those little white pills I've been taking this week. The mood swings are gone, the whirling gears have been re-engaged, and things are almost normal. Almost, anyway. I get cold shivers when those thoughts come back. I still get bummed out, because while medication takes away the sting, it doesn't solve a single thing. And I feel incredibly sleepy. But all in all, it's been pretty good. It gives me a breather between headaches, and it gives me a chance to work out what I'm going to do next.

It boils down to heart vs head. It's a corny, hackneyed dichotomy, but there it is. I have always followed my head, and chosen the sensible option. I have often regretted those decisions.

Might I give the heart a try?