Fell In Love With A Girl

Fell in love with a girl
I fell in love once and almost completely
She's in love with the world
But sometimes these feelings
Can be so misleading
She turns and said "are you alright?"
I said "I must be fine cause my heart's still beating"
Come and kiss me by the riverside, yeah
Bobby says it's fine he don't consider it cheating now

- The White Stripes, Fell In Love With A Girl

I’m sitting here wondering what to do next. I feel like I’ve had the shit kicked out of me, and it’s nothing more than a few home truths illustrated by a concerned friend.

She’s all wrong for me. As I keep finding out more things about her, the more I realise that. It wouldn’t work. My brain knows that, but my heart doesn’t want to listen. She's eighteen and beautiful and wild. She oozes innocence and sexiness in equal measure, and she's excited about what she can do with that combination. Every weekend she throws herself into mix to see what’ll happen.

She’s in love with the world.

Intellectually, I accept I’ve got no part to play in this. She’s growing up and this is a phase that all gorgeous young girls go through (presumably). You’re only eighteen once, and who am I to say that it’s better to spend it hacking through a university course rather than hitting the bars every night? I did the upright thing and I’ve always looked back wistfully at what I could’ve done instead. Maybe the real misspent youth is the one which involves a pile of textbooks and a cup of cocoa.

But still…I’m in love with the girl.

I worry about her. I worry because she’s a sweet, lovely girl who trusts people far more than she should and who’s too pliant for her own good. She can’t talk her way out of predatory situations. She hops into cars with strange guys. She goes into nightclub restrooms with boys. I worry that someone will take advantage of her. I really worry that she’ll get hurt. She rolls the dice every time she goes out, and I’m afraid that one time, she’ll roll snake eyes before she can cash in her chips.

Part of me has these grandiose notions of protecting her from all this shit. Part of me wants to save her from herself. But the larger part of me knows that I don’t have a fucking clue. I’m no more able to protect her than I’m able to stop the tide. Teenage kids do these things all the time. Most outgrow it. Some wallow in it. A few get badly hurt by it.

I just hope to God that she doesn't get hurt.