Arsenal 3, Celtic 1

3-1 to Arsenal on the night, 5-1 on aggregate.

I thought it was a good game in which we dominated. Eboue and Arshavin both scored great goals. Eduardo created a penalty out of thin air. Ramsey and Wilshere both got some games under their belts. And our midfield seemed to tick nicely without Cesc Fabregas.

We started the game in a hurry and we kept good pressure on the ball, but we seemed to run out of steam about the 60th minute and stopped our pressing game. By then Celtic had given up and the match was as good as over, but I think we'll need to work on applying pressure throughout the 90 minutes. If our work-rate drops off against Man Utd over the weekend, that could cost us.

I was really impressed with Eboue today. When Wenger first called him his Pass Master, I thought he was taking the piss, but Eboue does have a knack for making those angled little passes. If we're going to persevere with the Barca 4-3-3, we're going to need more dinky passers like Eboue and Denilson.

I was less impressed with Eduardo's dive. It wasn't pretty, and it wasn't clever. I suppose Eduardo was expecting a full-bodied challenge from Boruc and just wanted to avoid another broken ankle, but still... it looks really bad. I think Eduardo knew it was the wrong thing to do as well, because he seemed distracted after the penalty and missed a couple of shots he normally would've put away.

Still, we're through to the Champions League proper, and if you believe Peter Hill-Wood, it's a prize in itself. I'd disagree with Hill-Wood. I tend to think it's the bare minimum. I expect Wenger to make a raft of signings now that we're assured the CL money. Akinfeev and M.Diarra would be a good start...

One last point - I watched the Maccabi Haifa vs Salzburg qualifier yesterday, and it was delightful to see the reactions of the Maccabi players after they'd won. They were genuninely happy and excited to have qualified for the Champions League. Playing in the Champions League is like a new adventure for them. When you consider that Arsenal's reaction to qualification would be relief, it makes you think. Maybe Platini's rejigging of the qualifying stages was the correct decision after all.

Lies, Damn Lies and Actim Stats

"Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that."

- Homer Simpson, Homer the Vigilante episode

I haven't read much Arsenal news in the past few days, and so it's a bit depressing to click on newsnow. It's the same old shit since last week - we're facing a clear-out, we're broke, we're rich, we're investing in youth, we're keeping faith in youth, our youth is crap, Denilson is the 16th best midfielder in the Premier League...

Gooners are firmly divided about Denilson. He doesn't contribute much on the creative side of things, he doesn't impose himself on games, and he doesn't tackle like a rabid dog on Ritalin. And yet, the stats tell us he's the 16th best midfielder in the Premier League. Denilson detractors say that Denilson's stats are the result of him passing backwards and sideways, and not the result of any special talent on his part. Denilson supporters look at the stats and say... stats don't lie.

Traditionalists tend to dismiss stats as bookish nonsense, the domain of nerds who were kicked off the pitch as kids and who've held a grudge against the more sporty types ever since. Traditionalist prefer to see what a player can do on the pitch, and not what stats get plugged into a computer program.

But still, stats don't lie. Denilson intercepts the ball. Denilson keeps the ball safe and makes the first pass a safe pass. It gives our players a chance to transition from defence to offence. It starts off the offensive move. It's no use hitting a speculative, first-time slide-rule pass if there's no one ready to receive it. Denilson's safety first play gives our team time to regroup. Which is good, as far as I can see. 

Then again, if we can get this man, I'd much prefer him to Denilson.

And I'm just thinking about the Barcelona team that are now, officially, the best team to have ever played football in the history of Earth for all time. There are three ex-Arsenal players (Henry, Hleb, Sylvinho). There is one Arsenal triallist (Yaya Toure), and one Arsenal target (Eto'o). And I'm thinking about how good OUR side could've been if we'd keep some players, bought some others....

But you know, such is life. 

Not a match preview

"It's only after we've lost everything, that we're free to do anything."

- Tyler Durden, Fight Club

So this is it, the last throw of the dice. We're fourth in the league no matter which way we turn. We're out of the FA Cup. We've only got 90 relevant minutes left to our season, and we're doing it against Utd at the Emirates. 

We've got to make it count. 

We can go through. We don't deserve this chance, considering the pathetic performances we've put in over the year, but we're still in it. One brilliant 90 minute burst, and we could be fronting up to our second Champions League final in five years. Wouldn't that be special? 

Anyway, we know the composition of the team; 4-5-1, Adebayor up front, a shockingly weak defence at the back, and square pegs in round holes in the midfield. But it'll work if we're up for it. And it's going to work. I get premonitions every now and then, and this is one of those time. We're down and out, and no one except Stan Collymore gives us a chance. And yet, we play our best in these circumstances. It liberates us. As Tyler Durden said, it's only when you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything. 

3-1 to the Arsenal. 

1-0 to Man Utd

"That's Arsenal's advantage. They can play Pat Rice at right-back and Arsène Wenger can play centre-forward; it doesn't matter to them."

- Alex Ferguson, commenting about the Premier League, but also valid for the Champions League return fixture next week

He's right, of course. We can play Pat Rice at right-back and Arsene Wenger at centre-forward. That'll free up Sagna to partner Toure in the centre of defense, slide Eboue out to left back, and it'll leave Silvestre out of the team completely. Adebayor could be relegated to the bench, and maybe Wenger's good enough to score from clear-cut chances and not get offside all the time. I'm sure his workrate would be much better, at any rate.

That's the Arsenal advantage - our squad's so thin that sometimes, it doesn't matter who we play.

Wenger says that the positive is that we're only a goal down. He's right; we were very lucky this morning. O'Shea scored a weak goal after he was totally unmarked by the far post. Man Utd peppered our goal, and if Almunia hadn't been up for the game, we would be entering the second leg four or five goals down.

We played terribly. Adebayor was listless. Diaby was useless. Silvestre was worse than useless - we'd be better off getting him red carded at the start of the match. He's at the heart of every goal we've conceded in the past couple of weeks. We didn't press, we didn't attack, we didn't defend, we didn't do anything except stroll around the pitch for 90 minutes and hope it wouldn't be too bad. For the biggest game of our season, it's a pretty poor performance.

It's frustrating that we're playing our best players out of position to compensate for weaker players. Cesc is now an attacking midfielder because he's a good finisher and can score the goals that Adebayor can't. Nasri is now a defensive midfielder becaue Diaby can't tackle, can't press and can't offer a physical presence. Diaby is a left winger because he's a defensive liability and he will do less damage on the wing than in the middle of the park.

There isn't a lot to say. We were outplayed because Man Utd's a better team that's better organised and more hungry for success. They played an outstanding game this morning, and really should've buried us. And next Tuesday, they probably will.

Still, there is a bit of hope. Ferdinand might be out. Djourou and van Persie might be fit, and might take the place of Silvestre and Adebayor. We might play a 4-4-2 and try to attack Man Utd instead of playing a tactical game. We might have learnt to defend in the meanwhile. I wouldn't hold my breath, but hope is all we've got.

My prediction for Tuesday: 3-1 to the Arsenal.

Something to play for

"This is the moment that we've waited for. I'm an optimist and I believe I will win it [the Champions League] and the sooner, the better. That's why I am here with complete belief."

- Arsene Wegner, who's so excited he's about to break out in showtunes

We're playing Man Utd tomorrow morning. Getting really nervous. It's like that feeling you get the afternoon before the school play, as you're walking into the auditorium and it's buzzing with anticipation. There's the fear of the unknown, the quivering stomach and the vague sense of impending doom.

Or maybe it's just because I quit my job this morning and I'm at loose ends.

Whatever the case, I'll be up tomorrow morning whether we're going to do it. Whether we're going to beat Man Utd. I don't have anything intelligent to say about it, so I won't try. Odds are, we're going to lose. But then, we support Arsenal, so we got to think we're going to win it, right? Anyway, there's something to play for. It's in our power to stop this:

_

It's almost as revolting as seeing Ashley Cole win something. C'mon Arsenal.

Chelsea 4, Liverpool 4

"chavs vs scums is really entertaining, I mean 8 goals so far over the two matches. lots of shitty goalkeeping we can thank for todays goals. hope pool can grab one more soon for a thrilling finish but I really dont want them to go through the cunts."

- Black John Wayne, from the gunnerblog forum

I woke up at 5:30 wanting to see the last half hour of the Villareal match. I turned on the computer and scratched around for a link, and there was none. I checked gunnerblog and no one was talking about match. And then it hit me - I had the wrong day.

Damn these Europeans and their complicated fixture making.

Watching the Chelsea-Liverpool tie at the moment. Liverpool were 2-0 up after the first half, now 2-2. Good as over, Chelsea versus Barcelona in the semi-final. I'm a bit apprehensive about this one. I want Chelsea to lose about as much as I want Barcelona to win. The one thing I don't want to see is A**Cole winning something. He's odious.

Scrap that. Lampard just scored. 3-2 to Chelsea. The whole Chelsea team is odious. I've got nothing against Lampard, but I hate his guts for some reason. I'm not sure why. And John Terry. Hate him even more than I hate Lampard.

It's an interesting match to watch. Liverpool started the half with the impossible almost tangible. And now they're stuffed. One blunder by Reina. One set-piece rocket by Alex. One tap-in by Lampard. And the best thing is that I've only a half-hearted interest in it, so no one gets hurt.

3-3 now. Lucas with a deflected shot. With ten minutes to play.

4-3 now. Kuyt header from dead-on. With eight minutes to play.

How excitement.

4-4, Lampard from the edge of the area, goal off both posts. It really is over. Meh. Good match, the kind of grinding, technical game that wish Liverpool and Chelsea could play all the time. Worth getting up for. Anyway, Chelsea vs Barcelona in the semis. Let's hope Barca do them good, because I couldn't stand Chelsea winning the Champions League.

1-1 at El Madrigal

"In the end there were two Arsenals: the one from London and the one from Spain's east coast. For a long time last night Arsenal appeared to be out-Arsenaled, threatened by a team that plays their game as well as they do."

- Sid Lowe, from the Guardian

I really enjoyed the game this morning. Attacking football, great passing and movement, and a couple of spectacular goals to Senna and Adebayor. We spent the bulk of the match trailing 0-1, and I wasn't that upset because it was a genuinely entertaining match between two very similar teams.

My opinion of Marcos Senna went up a few notches. I'd previously regarded him as just a good defensive midfielder, but the guy has moves. Damn fine midfielder, and I can see why Villareal slapped a £15 million price-tag on him last summer. He bossed Denilson and Song like they were a couple of truant schoolkids, and that goal of his was top-notch.

My opinion of the Arsenal went up as well. We played poorly in the first half and allowed Villareal the bulk of possession. Denilson and Song were largely absent, and Nasri was poor. Apart from Cesc and Walcott, there wasn't much of an attacking threat. But we came back after the break and played well. We scored the goal and bossed Villareal around. Yes, we should've played like that in the first half, but the important thing is that we came back. That shows a bit of character. And a bit of guts.

It's very exciting to be an Arsenal supporter at the moment. The quality is there, and you feel that success is almost tangible. We just need to get more game time into our youngsters. If Denilson and Song learn to tackle and dominate a midfield, if Clichy learns to cross, if Walcott learns to shoot, if Nasri becomes more consistent.... it's very exciting to consider how much improvement there is in our boys.

And what about the goal by Adebayor? He misses sitters by the dozen and then scores freakish goals like that. You would never have thought he'd have it in him, but then again, you would never have thought he was worth 80k a week, either. I suppose Wenger and co. do know what they're doing.

Wigan up next. It's important that we don't slack off against them, that we keep our unbeaten streak going. Arshavin's back in the team, and Cesc, Adebayor and Theo should be fully fit. The games are coming thick and fast, and we need to win them all.

C'mon the Arsenal.

2-0 to the Arse

"We were a very young team and we did not lose our nerve, did not panic and in the end maybe our technical superiority allowed us to score two goals. That is a massive advantage for the second leg but we will be on our toes."

- from One Who Knows

I am happy to be wrong.

It happened when I was asleep. Most good things happen when you're sleeping. Santa comes and leaves presents, the Tooth Fairy exchanges teeth for money, and Arsenal wins 2-0 against FC Twente.

Normally, this is where I make a quip about how most of our first team probably still believes in Santa and the Tooth Fairy. I won't, because it's a bit hypocritical. You see, I desperately want to believe in something more ridiculous and improbable - an Arsenal Premiership won by a bunch of kids.

I'm eagerly anticipating the 27th of August, because Wenger Claus is coming to town...

There's a post by van Smeiter on Blog, my Arse worth reading. He posted it hours before the FC Twente game, and basically said we should calm the fuck down. This season will be exciting and interesting. Those butterflies and sleepless nights are good, good things, because it means we're living on the edge of our skins. And that's the only way to live a life.

I worry too much for my own good. I should learn to relax, unclench, and let it flow out. Every little thing's going to be alright. Denilson and Ramsey made mistakes. But they're young and will get better. Arsenal will get better as well. Cesc will be back. Toure will be, too.

Anyway, Arsenal play like the Harlem Globetrotters. That's worth all the disappointment and heartache.

Arsenal vs FC Twente

"In one respect it's a tough draw for us, on the other it's now an opponent we know very well... It will be a once-in-a-lifetime experience that doesn't come along that often. I'm sure the fans will be delighted."

- Steve McClaren, FC Twente manager

Steve's right about two points:

1. Once-in-a-lifetime experiences don't come along that often - usually, just once
2. The fans will be delighted

I'm especially delighted because they're playing the second leg at Emirates, which means I'll get to see it. In London. At Emirates. For real. I'm a bit blase about it now, but that's probably just shock. I'll be a blubbering mess by the time I get off at Arsenal station. Which reminds me, I've got to get there early and buy a Theo shirt.

I wonder if we'll play a full-strength side?

FC Twente could be a tricky tie. They beat Ajax in the playoff for the CL spot, and they won't be pushovers. They know Arsenal's style of play, would've remembered how PSV played against us two years ago, and they'll probably play narrow and sit in front of goal. Then again, they're managed now by Steve McClaren, so anything could happen....

In other news, Adebayor's getting very Henry-esque with his quotes. His interview with ATVO includes the classic line "at the moment my heart is with Arsenal". Henry should've copyrighted that phrase; it would've earned him a bundle.

Ade also claims he knew nothing about the shenanigans over the summer, as he was at home in deepest darkest Africa. Now, I realise public relations is probably the easiest course to do at uni, but are PR people really that stupid? Or do they just think we are? Someone should just tell Ade that we don't care as long as he keeps on scoring 30 goals a season.

I don't have the patience to sift through that interview. Another day. Maybe tomorrow. Got to do my taxes today.