At Loose Ends

And so, Sally can wait

She knows it's too late as she's walking on by

Her soul slides away

But don't look back in anger

I heard you say

- Don't Look Back In Anger, Oasis

I was tossing up between "Don't Look Back In Anger" and "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" for the quote. I punted on the former because I've a sneaky suspicion that I've already used the latter. Both great Mancunian bands, by the way. 

Anyway, this one's all whiny introspection. 

I'm at loose ends at the moment. It's been about a month, and all the hostels, cities, museums, galleries, shopping malls, supermarkets, pubs, trains, trams and buses are starting to blur together. I'm at the stage when I wake up in the morning, and I wonder "why bother?".

It's the transience that's getting to me, I suppose. When you're travelling, everything is temporary. You have single serve jam, single serve tea and coffee, single serve microwave dinners and single serve friends. You meet and greet, wheel and deal, and the next morning, it's like nothing's different. It's like someone's reset the board while you've been sleeping, and it's a brand new game every day.

After a while, it gets a bit much. 

I used to daydream about this when I was younger. I used to daydream about just running away and getting lost in a place where there's no one around. I was fascinated by the 3-second memory of goldfish, and how every swim around the tank is like a brand new world. Though it would've been a really cool way to live - to have no memory and to experience everything as if for the first time. 

It's not what I expected, but that's cool. I think it's really what I need at this stage of my life. Love that line - her soul slides away - by the way. I need to do a bit more of that kind of stuff - letting things go, letting things be, letting things just slide away. Nothing I can do by dwelling on things, so what's the freaking point? 

I don't know. All I really know is that I'm getting rather guilty that I'm exploiting the largess of the good people at the Apple Store. I think Mac people are the nicest people in the world. Should log off soon.

Going to Blackburn to watch the Arsenal. Oh we love you Arsenal, we do.