Bye, Bye Adebayor

"If I feel that a player should go or could go, why not sell him to one of the other top four?"

- Arsene Wenger, about Adebayor

There's a poll at the Guardian over whether we should sell Adebayor to Chelsea. 

It's feasible. Carlo Ancelotti, the man likely to the appointed the new Chelsea manger, fancies Adebayor and would like to work with him. Drogba's likely to leave at the end of the season. And if Chelsea are going to stick with a lone striker, they'll need to replace Drogba with someone with similar physical characteristics. There aren't many players who can play that role at the highest level. And Adebayor's one of the ones who can. 

Adebayor doesn't work as a lone striker at the Arsenal. He's offside way too often. He doesn't impose himself on games anymore. He doesn't work for his team anymore. Instead, he drifts off to the left and tries to be Thierry Henry. He scores the odd great goal, and then fluffs easy chances. But I imagine he'll improves dramatically under a tactically astute manager like Ancelotti. 

If someone tells Adebayor where to be, when to run, and to work like a packhorse in the mountains, then he will do so. Rio Ferdinand said he was the hardest striker to play against in the Premier League. Adebayor's fast, strong, tall, and has a penchant for the spectacular. He has a lot of gifts that are currently being wasted. Wenger's indulging him at the Arsenal, and if he was playing under someone who wouldn't tolerate nonsense, he'll probably thrive. 

So I think Adebayor to Chelsea would be a good move for Adebayor. It'll be a good move for Chelsea. But more importantly, I think it'll be a good move for the Arsenal. It'll give us £25 million pounds and the chance to buy David Villa. Or Sammy Eto'o. Or Karim Benzema. Or ANYONE who isn't offside 5 or 6 times a frigging match...

Why, Wenger?

"It would be unfair to put too much responsibility for this defeat on Fabianski. I just want to see him recover because I firmly believe he will be one of the best goalkeepers in the world."

- Arsene Wenger, passing the buck

The thing is that we don't blame Fabianksi for the goals. Yes, he was beaten at the near post for the first. And yes, he shouldn't have rushed out for the second. But he's our second-string keeper and he's inexperienced. You expect horribly gauche mistakes from inexperienced players. As Wenger once said, you pay for their education in points. We don't blame Fabianski for the loss.

We blame Wenger.

Arsenal vs Chelsea in the FA Cup semi-final is a big, big game. It's our best hope for a trophy this year. We've got a team that is enjoying a late-season resurgence. We're facing a team that's leaking goals. If we attack them, there's a fair chance they'll fall over. In fact, with our patched-up defence, attack is our only chance of winning.

And what do we do?

We play a 4-5-1, stock our midfield with tall players who aren't in-form. We rest our in-form players. We leave our best player on the bench. We take an early lead, and then wait for them to equalise and take the lead. In short, we bottle it.

It gets me angry. It makes me sad. It leaves me with a mild headache and in a profound state of melancholy. Playing Chelsea is difficult enough without playing a half-strength side. When we play Chelsea, we need to play our strongest side and hope for the best. If we don't do that, and we throw a match like we did the other night, what's it all for? Why are we following a club which doesn't take a match seriously, which treats its supporters with contempt, which looks Triumph and Disaster in the eye and treats them both impostors as the same? After all, it's not a fucking Rudyard Kipling poem, Wenger - it's football.

What makes it even more galling is that Everton beat Man Utd last night on penalties. If we'd gone into the Chelsea game with our best side, and if we'd won, we would've been odds-on to win the FA Cup. I don't rate the FA Cup personally, but it's still a trophy.

And for a side as callow as ours, the experience of winning a trophy is priceless.

Where was Arshavin?

"The season will only be good if we win something. Otherwise, it will be a failure."

- Didier Drogba, spelling out the truth for both Chelsea and Arsenal

We're not going to win the treble. Drogba put paid to that in the 84th minute when he scored Chelsea's second goal, and sent us out of the FA Cup. You can argue that Fabianski made a hideous mistake rushing out to meet Drogba, and it cost us the game. But truthfully, the match was over a long time before then. It was over the minute the team sheet was released, and Arshavin was on the bench. 

Why Arshavin was left on the bench is a bit of a mystery. We need the Owl to play every game he can. He's probably our best player. He's certainly been the most influential player in in the games he's played. And yet, he was rested for the game. 

I only saw the last twenty minutes of the match. We were getting killed all over the park by that stage, but it was still 1-1. And yet, we had Arshavin,  Nasri and Song on the bench while we had Denilson and Diaby on the field. It beggars belief that in the one competition we had a chance of winning, we'd go in with a weakened side. 

After we lost, I spent most of night wondering why Wenger would do that. Came up with a few ideas:

1. He wanted to rest Arshavin: 

Arshavin hasn't had a pre-season and has played almost every game for almost three months now. He's been playing one or two matches a week. He's not conditioned to this much football. He could be a bit tired. He could have a soft tissue injury. He might need a rest for Tuesday. 

2. Wenger wanted to hide Arshavin from Hiddink:

Arshavin might have some secret weakness that Wenger doesn't want the world to know. And if Arshavin has a weakness, Guud Hiddink will know about it. Hiddink wouldn't want the world to know about it either, but if it was a choice between Chelsea winning and losing, he'd take advantage of it. And Wenger would want to protect that weakness, because Arshavin's mystique is the best thing we've got at the moment. 

3. Wenger overlooked Arshavin, literally:

Arshavin is very short. And Wenger is very tall. Maybe Wenger had all the players in the dressing room, looked around but forgot to look down. He couldn't find Arshavin, panicked, saw Diaby (who is also very tall) and picked him instead. It's happened before - Diaby and Song do play a lot more matches than Nasri, Vela and Walcott. 

Whatever the case, we're in a bit of a bind now. The FA Cup was our best chance of winning something this year. And now, we're out of it. And it's okay, really. We've got two games a week for three weeks, against some of the best sides in the world. We're not going to win every match. But still, it's frustrating that we didn't bring out our best side to a game we really should be winning. 

As Drogba put it, a successful season is determined by the trophies you win. 

Wenger's Mind Bullets

What powers you ask? I dunno, how about the power of flight?
That do anything for ya? That's levitation holmes.
How about the power to kill a yak, from 200 yards away...
With mind bullets! That's telekinesis, Kyle.
How about the power... to move you?

- Wonderboy, Tenacious D

I was checking the Arsenal site for match details, and I came across a few tidbits from Wenger. Our manager's been busy ahead of the FA Cup match tonight. He's been trying to psyche-out Chelsea. I haven't seen such venom from Wenger since the peak of the Ferguson-Wenger rivalry.

Firstly, he implies Guus Hiddink is doddering old man (who's only four years older than him):

“I rate him highly. When you come to his age and have survived in top level competition then you have quality."

Then he disses Hiddink, Scolari, Grant and Mourinho.... actually the Abramovich era:

“Chelsea is is a little bit of an exception, but only recently. Mourinho stayed two or three years and Ranieri stayed five years. And Ranieri has been the foundation of today's team. It is Ranieri who built this team, not anybody else."

Then he targets Drogba, first by reminding him that he was mediocre for most of his career, and that Arsenal and all the big French clubs rejected him when he was a young player:

“When he was in Le Mans we watched him carefully... All the French clubs watched him but nobody took him. It is a mistake but when you are in football everyone can understand it.... We didn't miss him because we didn't want [him]. We had Thierry Henry at the time.”

And then this little gem:

“He is a fighter and I believe that we want to make sure that we combat him... But we have to consider that Adebayor can do the same to them, that Bendtner can do the same too. Also Drogba will play against Silvestre and Kolo Toure, who are strong defenders. So I do not worry about Drogba tomorrow. Not at all.”

He even tries to play mind games with the Wembley groundsmen:

"When I heard they had problems with the pitch that was a big disappointment because you always felt you wanted to play at Wembley as there was something special on the pitch there... I expect a good pitch but the noises I get are not as convincing as the former pitch. But the former pitch was really something special.”

And what did Le Boss have to say about our side?

“But we relish that type of pressure. We want the pressure [of success] and are happy to have it. I don’t expect any weakness from Chelsea, I just expect full strength from our squad."

After all these mental assaults, I expect Chelsea to crawl onto a picture-perfect Wembley pitch with their confidence shattered and their manager hobbling on a zipper frame. I expect our boys to fly in with determination and confidence. Such is the deadly accuracy of Arsene Wenger's mind bullets.

He has the power... to move us.

Chelsea 4, Liverpool 4

"chavs vs scums is really entertaining, I mean 8 goals so far over the two matches. lots of shitty goalkeeping we can thank for todays goals. hope pool can grab one more soon for a thrilling finish but I really dont want them to go through the cunts."

- Black John Wayne, from the gunnerblog forum

I woke up at 5:30 wanting to see the last half hour of the Villareal match. I turned on the computer and scratched around for a link, and there was none. I checked gunnerblog and no one was talking about match. And then it hit me - I had the wrong day.

Damn these Europeans and their complicated fixture making.

Watching the Chelsea-Liverpool tie at the moment. Liverpool were 2-0 up after the first half, now 2-2. Good as over, Chelsea versus Barcelona in the semi-final. I'm a bit apprehensive about this one. I want Chelsea to lose about as much as I want Barcelona to win. The one thing I don't want to see is A**Cole winning something. He's odious.

Scrap that. Lampard just scored. 3-2 to Chelsea. The whole Chelsea team is odious. I've got nothing against Lampard, but I hate his guts for some reason. I'm not sure why. And John Terry. Hate him even more than I hate Lampard.

It's an interesting match to watch. Liverpool started the half with the impossible almost tangible. And now they're stuffed. One blunder by Reina. One set-piece rocket by Alex. One tap-in by Lampard. And the best thing is that I've only a half-hearted interest in it, so no one gets hurt.

3-3 now. Lucas with a deflected shot. With ten minutes to play.

4-3 now. Kuyt header from dead-on. With eight minutes to play.

How excitement.

4-4, Lampard from the edge of the area, goal off both posts. It really is over. Meh. Good match, the kind of grinding, technical game that wish Liverpool and Chelsea could play all the time. Worth getting up for. Anyway, Chelsea vs Barcelona in the semis. Let's hope Barca do them good, because I couldn't stand Chelsea winning the Champions League.

The Ex-Factor

"Listen, Jose was a great manager and had some great times here. But it's someone else's turn now to kick on. Mourinho is a world class manager, a lot of the players are still in contact with him... But we need stability at the club now.

- John Terry, shitting himself at the prospect of Mourinho's return

John Terry and Jose Mourinho didn't part on good terms. If memory serves me right, Terry wanted a 10 year contract and a clause that gave him the option of managing Chelsea in the future. Jose Mourinho was opposed to it because Terry was getting old, his body was breaking apart, and he'd developed a penchant for getting kicked in the face by opposition players. And when Mourinho stuck his neck out too far, Terry was one of those wielding the axe.

History shows that when Mourinho walked, he spent a year on the sidelines and before accepting the Inter Milan job. Currently, he's facing the sack at the end of the year, with Inter floundering in 1st in the Serie A. Guus Hiddink is odds-on to drop Chelsea at the end of the season. And momentum is gathering to restore Mourinho to his spiritual home, since other high-profile candidates are ruling themselves out.

John Terry's been talking to the papers, wishing for Guus Hiddink to stay on permanently. Guus has done a great job at Chelsea, but I think there's something more to it than that. I think Terry's scared at the prospect of Mourinho coming back. It's one thing to knife your manager in the back as he's walking out the door, it's another thing altogether to welcome him back to the club. It's not going to happen, but I'd love to see Mourinho go to back to Chelsea - if only to see what he'd do to Terry.

Oh, and apparently we're facing some Spanish side in a match tomorrow morning? Winner goes into the semis of the Champions League. Should be a good match. Djourou's out, Gallas' out, Clichy's out, Almunia's out. So it'll be interesting to see how we line up. Hopefully Gibbs will play a blinder, and Song will keep up his good performances.

2-1 to the Arsenal - we should win if we can shoot straight.

Don't go to Chelsea, Kaka

'Kaká's contract gives him €9million in its first season and rises by a million euros for each of its five years... to better that, Chelsea will have to begin at more than £200,000 a week.'

- a Milan source, talking to Observer Sport

I've got some spare time, and it's a Sunday, so I've got fundamentalist Christianity on my mind. You wouldn't think it has much to do with football, but then, you wouldn't think a guy who wears his faith on his T-shirt would consider working for immoral people, either. I'm talking, of course, about Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite (a.k.a Kaka).

Don't get me wrong, I really admire Kaka. He seems like a genuinely nice man, with a sincere faith and an amiable disposition. Unlike some of his contemporaries, fame and success haven't tuned him into a jerk. Actually, he's probably the only elite footballer in the world who wouldn't look out of place with a halo around his head.

Sanctity is a delicate thing, though.

I'm thinking about Kaka's move to Chelsea. I'm presuming something's afoot; there's a bit too much whispering for to just be a rumour. This article claims that, if he moves to Chelsea, he "is likely to become the first £1m-a-month footballer".

I'm with a lot of people who believe that Chelsea's money is blood money. Russian resources were stolen from the Russian people by a bunch of well-placed crooks and sycophants during post-Soviet deregulation. It's not to say that the oligarchs weren't smart nor hard-working, but they did gain control through a series of dodgy deals. Abramovich has himself admitted to having paid billions of dollars for political favours and protection fees to obtain a big share of Russia's oil and aluminium assets (The Times, 05/07/08).

Where does Kaka fit into this?

Well, Abramovich used his money to turn Chelsea into his personal Football Manager game. Kaka is, potentially, the new "big, big signing". And ultimately, Kaka's wages will come from Abramovich. I don't dispute that Kaka's entitled to seek out the highest rate of remuneration, and I don't dispute that he'd be worth £250,000 a week. After all, he is the best player in the world. I'm not even going to argue that earning that kind of money is obscene, because I imagine Kaka does a lot more good with his millions than I ever will with my paltry thousands.

It's just that I hope Kaka takes a moment before he signs with Chelsea. I hope he thinks about where his money's coming from. I hope he asks himself whether he's willing to accept money from a tainted source, and whether his sense of righteousness is worth another lazy million in the bank. I really hope he does.

You cannot serve both God and Mammon.

On Morality

"Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time”

- Henry Louis Mencken

I've often dismissed Wenger's insistence that Chelsea's riches are immoral. It seemed weak. They always seemed the words of a sore loser.

I didn't see it from his side until recently.

There's this girl, you see. A sweet, lovely, gorgeous girl. I would dearly love to ask her out, but she's nine years younger that me. I cannot. She is too young. It's driving me mad because I cannot make a move, but I cannot. My morals tell me that I cannot.

My morals are willful, inconsistent things. They puff up with self-righteous pride in some circumstances, and fold discretely back into the knapsack in others. They are often inconsiderate to my personal wishes. I often try to ignore them. But once they catch a gust of wind, my sails are full and my course becomes unalterable. I've been trying to think of ways to get around my morals. I cannot emphasize how much I'd love to ask this girl out. But my morals will not allow me.

This girl, however, has other admirers. She's attracting guys who are older, and sleazier and who have no qualms about picking up young girls. It give me indigestion just thinking of the anecdotes she's told. I picture them surrounding her like jackals around a separated baby gazelle. A part of me realises that she likes the attention of those jerks. And a part of me realises that she's attracted to them specifically because they are older and sleazier and push all those rebellious buttons of hers.

When I start thinking this way, I get heartburn.

And out of nowhere, I recollect all those interviews with Wenger repeating those three little words, "it is immoral". It is the phrase of the guy who is frustrated beyond belief as he watches others waltz over and takes the things he covets most. He wants it so badly that he's ready to fight Martin Jol on derby day. But in spite of his intelligence and his talents, he cannot fight back. He's been rendered impotent and feeble. He's been betrayed by his own morals.

To compete against the immorality of Chelsea's "financial doping", Man Utd have bought the Premiership (presumably) and mortgaged their future. Arsenal have earned 3rd place and stayed solvent. One club succumbed to their lusts. One club remained true to their morals.

I'm sure Wenger, on those sleepless nights, thinks of all the players he could've signed if he'd accessed that huge transfer facility. I'm sure he's sworn over and over than next time he's competing with a big club for a talented starlet, he'll sign him "no matter what the cost". But when the time comes to call the agent, he chokes on his words. Why?

Your morals are YOUR morals because you cannot side against them. You cannot bend them, you cannot twist them, you cannot do anything but obey. For better or worse, they are part of you. They are the better part of you. I have to believe that. It's the only thing I can cling to, because when it costs you the things you want most in your life, it's so fucking hard to take. There's no consolation prize for 3rd place. There's no consolation girl for the guy who refrains. This is real life and the consequences of those morals are mind-numbingly painful.

In football, in life, sometimes the only thing that counts is scoring.