I'm A Transfer Muppet

Myles Palmer knows a guy who knows a guy who has a friend who saw Edin Dzeko at the ground last night. Myles also knows that Wenger wasn't at training yesterday. And Myles put two and two together and reasoned that Dzeko is coming to Arsenal.

I think he's jumping the gun, personally.

I think we're getting a bit jittery because the transfer window is closing. Ten days to go, and we've only signed a 35 year old and a couple of boys. Ten days left to buy the two or three player would could make a real difference in our title run. Ten days of waiting, and watching, and hoping that Wenger has been foxing with us and has been frantically scouring the transfer market for all this time.

Dzeko to Arsenal would be really neat. We get a bit of Bundesliga on TV in Australia, and I've been impressed with Dzeko. He's big, strong, fast, good with his feet, can hold up the ball. He can act as a traditional centre-forward and free up Arshavin. I'd like him at the club, but you never know what Wenger's going to do. Buying Dzeko would probably kill a fair number of Arsenal kiddies, and I'm not sure Wenger's got the stomach to do that.

One of the kiddies that Dzeko would indirectly kill would be Fran Merida. Merida's a schemer on the flanks, and if Dzeko is bought, we'd put Bendtner on the flanks permanently and squeeze Merida out of the first team squad. In that case, Merida's probably going to do something stupid, like join Atletico Madrid.

I hope Merida doesn't join Atletico Madrid. They're mad. They're what Tottenham would be like if they'd been run by fascists and managed by a succession of Harry Redknapps. Reyes joined them a few years back, and his career has since flat-lined. If Merida joined them, there's no telling what will happen to him.

I hope he stays at the Arsenal. He's got Arsenal written all over him, as evidenced by quote from Cesc Fabregas:

"I was very pleased for Fran Merida, who scored his first league goal. It's a real shame that he injured his foot... It's been frustrating for him because he hasn't played three games in a row for a couple of years. That makes it very difficult for any player to show what you can do. Everyone at Arsenal believes in him, so hopefully he'll be back soon."

With injuries every three games, he's a perfect replacement for Rosicky.