I'm glad we didn't buy in January

In a way, aren't you glad Arsene Wenger didn't buy anyone in the January transfer window?

When I go over the Arsenal first team in my head, it's packed with players who've grown with the club. We have Chezza in goal, in his breakthrough season after coming to Arsenal as a 16 year old. We have Djourou in defence, cementing his place in the first team. We have a settled midfield troika of Song, Wilshere and Cesc... and hasn't it been a delight to see how well Wilshere's adjusted to the Premiership? We have Nasri making the step up to super-star status, Walcott finally delivering on his potential, and Robin van Persie (hopefully) injury-free for the rest of the season.

There's a quiet satisfaction in seeing all these players develop. They've all got their foibles, and none of them are perfect, but at least they're our boys. One of the great joys of watching the Arsenal is that we've seen them come into the first team as kids, we've suffered with them as they've learned, we've seen them (or at least some of them) grow up and become good players. Don't get me wrong, they've got a long way to go yet, but we can still look at them with a certain sort of pride. They're our boys, after all.

There's two ways of building a side, and I know I'd feel a lot cooler towards a side that's been cobbled together with mega-buck transfers and pragmatism.

I'm thinking about the tie against Barcelona, and the whole world thinks we're going to get thumped. I don't know about that. They're missing Puyol, they've just had their first draw in 16 league matches, and they're tired. I don't think they're going to come out and press us like they did last year. I think we're stronger than we were last season, with Chezza in goal, Wilshere in midfield, and Djourou and Koscielny in defence.

I don't think we'll win over two legs, but I fancy us to make a game out of it.

But even if I'm wrong and we get flogged, I wouldn't mind. Even if our young players are exposed as naive, it'll be okay. The strange thing is that I'd rather see our boys play the mighty Barcelona and get flogged, than see a bunch of ringers help us grind out a respectable narrow loss or even a win. It just seems more meaningful.

I don't know how this change in heart happened, but it happened. I'm more excited about Djourou in the heart of the Arsenal defence than Gary Cahill. I'd rather see van Persie in front of goal than Dzeko. And (God help me), I'd like to see Chezza get his chance to prove himself, rather than see Diego Lopez or Shay Given in front of goal.

"Mad Dog” Cesc wants revenge on Moyes

"Fabregas' comments to the referee and the fourth official at half-time coming down the tunnel warranted a sending off. I’m not going to repeat them, but they were disappointing comments from such a talented footballer."

- David Moyes, baiting angry bear that is Cesc Fabregas’ fury

Okay, that’s a tasteless, baseless, sensationalist heading designed to attract readers. It’s a blatant lie without a shred of evidence to back it up. I could get sued for libel. But then I’m probably fairly safe. It’s not far off what some of the stories on the web are like.

Because if the papers are right, Cesc Fabregas is a spitting, snarling, puffy-parka wearing Catalan who waves imaginary red cards at refs and verbally judo-kicks the opposition in the tunnel at half-time. He’s clearly a threat to the Premier League’s reputation, a bad influence on the minds of impressionable English younglings and a hair’s breath away from taking his boots off at half time in order to stab the opposition bench with his sharpened boot studs.

These days, it seems like Cesc Fabregas is more monster than man.

My question is that, considering the reprehensible conduct of young Cesc these days, why is David Moyes trying to antagonise him? Doesn’t he know that Cesc “the Animal” Fabregas is a red-eyed, spiteful spitfire of fury, and would turn on Moyes and all he holds dear? Isn’t he afraid that Cesc will hide in the bushes of his front yard, waiting for a chance to spit into his eyes? Or that he’ll walk up to Moyes and tell him in a disdainful manner that Barcelona don’t play with a Timmy Cahill in the hole?

He’s a bit of a hero, is David Moyes. He’s broken the tunnel-room omerta and told it as it is. Moyes is taking a stand, and not being intimidated by the “what happens in the tunnel, stays in the tunnel” bullshit that Wenger and Mad Dog Fabregas are so eager to inforce. Moyes has got to know what happens to whistle-blowers, and yet, he’s still sticking to his guns.

Surely, there’s enough circumstantial evidence to arrest Fabregas, try him, and throw him out of England. There’s that spat with Mark Hughes a few years.... after which Cesc went up to Hughes and apologised. Then there’s that spitting episode with Hull City’s assistant manager... where no charges could be laid and where no evidence could be found other than that photo which showed Cesc clearly wearing a puffy-parka. Then there’s that Twitter comment by the Hudderfield player saying Cesc wouldn’t exchanged shirts with his teammates... which was later retracted with an apology.

I mean, the list is endless, innit?

Personally, I like trivia and gossip about footballers. It’s shallow, and tacky, and a gross invasion of privacy. It’s schadenfreude mixed with glamour and gussied up like Footballers’ Wives. However, I object to gossip beat-ups. There are plenty of reprehensible, shocking, disgusting, foul, vicious, violent, amoral footballing activities to gossip about, without having to exaggerate minor footballing misdemeanours.

Yes, Cesc seems a bit spiky and frustrated when things aren’t going his way, and he’s probably a bad loser. He’s probably the kind of person who rips the controller out of the console when he loses in FIFA. But in a world where Andy Carroll beats people up, Gerrard knocks out a DJ, Terry sleeps with his mate’s ex, Barton puts out a cigarette in a teammate’s eye, Bowyer and Dyer fight on the pitch in the middle of a game, Rooney fucks prostitutes while his wife is pregnant.... being a sore loser about a blatantly wrong off-side decision isn’t the worse thing in the world, is it?

(I finally saw) Arsenal 1-0 West Ham

At the beginning of the season, I was excited because one of the free-to-air channels was promising to broadcast live Arsenal matches. It turned out it was a Thursday afternoon replay of the previous weekend's Premier League match. Due to the vagaries of work and commuting, I never really got into the habit of switching on at 4:30pm every Thursday to watch the Arsenal play.

Long story short, I managed to catch the last twenty minutes of the Arsenal vs West Ham match this afternoon. And it's quite nice watching the Arsenal on a big screen. In Australia, coverage of the Arsenal can be sketchy. For most matches, I've a choice of either a sterile sports lounge at the local pokies, a stilted internet stream, or sleeping in and catching the highlights on youTube a few days later. And for most matches, I choose to sleep in.

I didn't think we played that badly in those last 20 minutes. I agree with most gooners that: Song's getting ahead of himself, and that he shouldn't indulge in passes that he doesn't have the talent to pull off; Arshavin's a bit lazy, but has a certain something that the majority of our squad doesn't; Theo is a lovely boy who's pretty close to being a good player; Nasri and Fabregas complement each other in the centre of the park; and that a midfield combo of Nasri, Fabregas and Wilshere would be exceptional in about three years' time.

It was one of those games we tend to win when we're on form: West Ham park the bus; Arsenal creative plenty of chances but lack the chutzpah to capitalise; West Ham get tired towards the end of the match; Arsenal sneak a late, late goal through weight in numbers. When we're on a winning streak and we have belief, we tend to play to the whistle and we can sneak late, game-breaking goals. When we're on a poor run, we fade out a bit, and we don't get those goals that convert draws into wins.

It's been like that for a few years now. Liking the proverbial band of travelling supporters, we only sing when we're winning.

I remember thinking it back in the Flamin-Cesc-Hleb days. We had a team then that was on the cusp of a title, but it was a team run on the fumes of momentum. When we thought we were good, Flamini's legs would be pumping like a little gallic Energiser bunny, Cesc would be stringing passes, Hleb would be not shooting, and Adebayor would be scoring the sublime. It looked like we actually could win the league. However, when Eduardo's leg was shattered, and we drew at Birmingham, everything crumbled. We lost confidence, we lost momentum, we lost our way, and we lost the title.

The depressing thing is that we haven't learnt anything in the intervening years.

At present, we have a side which could theoretically challenge for the league. In terms of talent, we're comparable with Chelsea and Man Utd. In terms of experience, we've got a clutch of players with 4-5 years of senior football and who should be hitting their straps now. Okay, we won't because we're tactically naive and defensively stupid, but man-for-man, we're up there with the top two clubs.

But what about in terms of heart? Determination? Stubbornness? A league win sometimes requires 10 stubborn men to run hard into the 90th minute, refusing to concede the inevitability of a 0-0 scoreline. A league title would require 11 stupidly stubborn men to be prepared to do it for 38 matches in a year. I can see Chelsea doing it, and I can see Man Utd doing it, but I can't see the Arsenal doing it. When we've got momentum, I can see us scraping for a match. When we're in the doldrums, I can't.

It'll be interesting to see how we front up against Newcastle on Sunday. After losing to Shaktar, our momentum's been deflated somewhat. Champions League top spot is back in contention. It's the kind of scenario which lends itself to a shock 1-2 loss against a newly-promoted side. I hope the Arsenal prove me wrong, and put in a great performance. I'd love it, just love it if they put on a complete performance.

I might even be bothered to watch the match on Thursday afternoon.

Jay-Z wants to invest in the Arsenal

I'm not a businessman,

I'm a Business, Man

Let me handle my business, damn

- Jay-Z, a potential investor in Arsenal FC

What does it say about me that I get excited about the idea of Jay-Z becoming an investor in Arsenal FC and having a seat on the board? Am I so besotted by celebrity culture? Are my thoughts so superficial that I think Jay-Z’s genius as a rapper and his talent as a successful Business will automatically translate to the Byzantine world of football politics?

I hope not, but I’m not sure.

I don’t get excited about the prospect of having a fat Uzbek oligarch with alleged criminal links on the board. I don’t get excited about having a skinny American with pretensions of a global sporting empire on the board. I don’t get excited about Danny Fsizman, Peter-Hill Wood, Sir Chips Cheswick or anyone else on the board. I did get excited about foxy Nina Bracewell-Smith on the board, but she’s been kicked off. However, I am genuinely excited by the idea of Jay-Z at the Arsenal.

Here’s what Jay-Z said about it:

"(Wife Beyonce and I) would have to spend much more time in London. Bey knows how much I love sports and has known about my interest in Arsenal for a while. I never want to be a back-seat investor. I want to be on the board, involved in the decision-making... I'm at the stage of my career where I am ready for another investment like this. I have really got into soccer over the last 10 years and I've been saying for some time I want a percentage of Arsenal.”

Actually, I think Jay-Z would fit well with the Arsenal board, if he ever got on it. It’s a bit cynical of me, but I think that at his heart, Jay-Z’s a businessman. He buys and sells. He likes to make a profit. And in the Arsenal, he’s come across probably the only football club in the world which makes money and which has the ability to expand. It’s a good business opportunity.

And the moment, the Arsenal board are only interested in coasting along and making a profit. It’s been paralysed for the past five years with in-fighting. The old members are just marking time and waiting for the market to pick up again before they can dump their shares. Usmanov and Kroenke don’t have the funds to buy the Arsenal outright, but don’t want to give up their 30%. So we’ve got a board that’s content with the status quo, paying down the loan and earning a tidy profit every year.

It’s a good match-up.

I didn’t see us beating Bolton 4-1

"From the two games against Blackburn and Bolton, two years ago we would not have taken six points.”

- Arsene Wenger, pointing out the improvement in the Arsenal

I'm pleased to say that I was wrong. In the end, we beat Bolton quite comfortably 4-1, with goals to Koscielny, Chamakh, Song and Vela. It wasn’t as comfortable as that scoreline suggests with the last two goals being scored in the last twelve minutes, but still, it’s a good result and one that I’m very pleased with.

Since as I slept through it, I’m not going to comment about it.

However, I am going to comment about Wenger’s aforementioned quote. I actually attended Blackburn away and Bolton away during the 08-09 season. We won both games 4-1 and 3-0, or something similar. I remember we were great going forward, but we were terrible going back. In Blackburn away especially, they played right through our midfield and sliced us open. It was a case of the Arsenal being great at the things that Wenger is passionate about, but terrible at the things he dislikes.

So, have things really changed? We’re still good going forward. We’re probably a lot more effective going forward now that we’ve converted to a 4-3-3. But we’re still unsteady in defence. I remember watching the Blackburn match from a couple of weeks ago, and I was genuinely fearful whenever the opposition had the ball. I don’t trust the defence, I don’t trust Song when he’s roving upfield, and I definitely don’t trust Almunia. There are just too many liabilities for me to ever feel comfortable with this team. Without some sort of defensive tactical discipline, I always think we’re one slip-up away from conceding.

Okay, we showed a bit more resilience. Song and co. are 2 years’ more experienced, and that shows up in their play. They don’t crumple in games “up North” when things go bad. They score more late goals. They try harder when the mood suits them. All these things are a natural consequence of having played 60+ more league games.

But is that enough?

I’d feel more confident in the team if we got ourselves a goalkeeper. And if we could nail Song down in front of the defence. And if I knew we could trust Koscielny and Squillaci with the centre-back positions for the rest of the season. And especially if we could stop conceding weak goals from corners, set-pieces and fast breaks down the flanks.

I’m probably being a bit harsh. We’ve got 10 points from 12, and we’re second on the league. We’ve played two of our bogie teams and got 3 points from each. We’ve played Liverpool away and got a point from that. So we’re not too bad. We could definitely be in a much worse position.

So on the 225th last day of my 20s, I had deep, serious thoughts about buying an iPhone 4. I have an embarrassingly old phone which serves my needs quite well, and which is virtually indestructible. I don't really use it, other than for SMS and the occasional call.

And yet, I was playing Veggie Samurai on a friend's iPhone this afternoon, and I realise I really want a phone which would enable me to dice numerous digital vegetables as fast as manically possible. I want a phone which would enable me to access youTube videos on the go, watch highlights from Premier League matches, check Facebook and email every five seconds. I want something sleek and black and coated in shiny, cool glass.

I realise it's just irrational, but I don't seem to get over Apple-related tech-lust. The last two times I had it, I succumbed to a MacBook and an iMac respectively. There's something so seductive about Apple products. You know that they're expensive, that Steve Jobs is probably evil, and there are cheaper, more effective equivalents out there, but still… there's nothing on the market that's as cool as an Apple product.

I’m going to try to register with newsnow

On the advice from Stewie from a couple of posts ago, I decided to apply for entry to newsnow.co.uk again. I tried once before when this blog was called “Fucking Arsenal”, but they decided to reject me... for reasons unknown. I figured that I might have a better chance this time around, with a new name and more polite language. I’m a bit apprehensive because what I write can only be loosely defined as “news”, and probably more accurately described as "snippy, cowardly insults directed at men I wouldn’t have the guts to insult in real life”, but I’ve never found the website that catalogues those type of blogs.

So wish me luck. It’s going to take a while because I have to register with a website tracker called Alexa first, but I’ll get there. And then, maybe I’ll become famous on newsnow.

I was looking at the the newsnow.co.uk editorial standards, and came across something funny:

Conform to a reasonable standard of the language in which they are written. They must meet high standards of spelling, grammar and punctuation, including but not limited to:

• Correctly differentiating between "there" and "their", "its" and "it's", "1" and "one" and "Liverpools" and "Liverpool's"
• Ensuring sentences and paragraphs are not overly long;
• Using appropriate, correct punctuation and grammar.

I’m left wondering why they decided to single out Liverpool supporters? Is there an abundance of poorly-written Liverpudlian blogs out there, or are they just the more dire? Or is there some sort of English snobbishness at play, something too nuanced for me to pick up?

Oh, and we’re playing Bolton tonight. I don’t think I’ll watch the match because I would like to sleep. It’s going to be a difficult match. Vermaelen’s out, which means we’re sending two unprepared Frenchie centre-backs up against one of the standard bearers of clod-hoofing Ingerland. And van Persie and Walcott are both out as well, which means we’re left with Chamakh as our lone striker and Arshavin and... (blank) as supporting wide players. So goals will be hard to come by and our defence will be shaky.

It’s going to be a tough match. I’m wondering why, in only the 4th match of the season, we’re suddenly down to our last centre-back pairing and our last genuine centre-forward? Why do we always get injuries to the same players, at the same time, for the same reasons? Has the curse of the Arsenal Medical Team struck again?

Arsene Wenger thinks that we can do it, though. He said:

"Bolton are a good side if you look at the players they have on the pitch, but I believe we have enough quality on the pitch to beat them and that's what we want to show. We've had a satisfying start to the season with two difficult away games with Liverpool and Blackburn and we have done well so it is important we build on from that.”

But then again, he’s hardly going to say that we’re fielding two inexperienced centre-backs, one inexperienced centre-forward, and a liability in front of goal, and we’ll be lucky if we can get away with a win, is he?

Let’s go Arsenal. Let’s win this one for the injury list.

van der Vaart is trash-talking Arsenal

"Arsenal have a great team also, a lot of great young players. But I think our squad is not worse than Arsenal's so I think we have a good chance to win against them. And not only win the game against them but also, over the whole season, we can aspire to beat them.”

- Rafael van der Vaart, dissing the Arsenal before he’s even played for Tottenham

The above is an example of a dumb footballer quote.

Somewhere in the nether-regions of cyberspace, there’s got to a website dedicated to stupid things said by footballers. A lot of footballers say a lot of stupid things. Actually, a lot of people say a lot of stupid things. It’s not surprising - if you stick a microphone in front of anyone, chances are you’ll catch a nugget of gold at least once a week. For every Barack Obama, there’s always a George W. Bush.

It makes me feel sorry for van der Vaart. Here’s a guy who’s played for Ajax, Hamburg and Real Madrid. He’s been dumped at Tottenham, and before he’s played a single game for them, he’s been pushed out in front of the media and told to make a disparaging remark about the Arsenal. He’s got no idea what he’s talking about. He’s probably heard a lot about the Arsenal from van Persie, and he knows that we’ve got a squad of highly promising youngsters. And he knows Tottenham wear white and... well, that’s probably it, actually.

So van der Vaart is pushed out in front of a media throng, eyes blinded by flash-photography, and made to tell the world that Tottenham are just as good as the Arsenal. I’m a bit angry about it, actually. van der Vaart is feeling a bit insecure about his place at the club, and he’s prompted by PR people that the best way to ingratiate himself with the Spuds is to diss the Arsenal. It’s a cynical exercise by the Spuds, and designed to exploit van der Vaart’s naiveness. It’s a remark designed to rally the troops, stir up the opposition (us), make the Spuds feel like big men... but the only long-term effect is that it’s going to make van der Vaart look a bit foolish in twelve months’ time.

Dissing the local rival is a time-honoured initiation for new players. But there are better ways to ingratiate yourself with fans. There are smarter ways, classier ways, and funnier ways. Two in recently memory involve Arsenal players dissing Tottenham: firstly, Arshavin saying “Pavlyuchenko is not my friend"; and secondly, Vela saying that he’s pleased for dos Santos for joining Tottenham, but that after he establishes himself, he should “then move on to a better team”.

Now, I’m not trying to say that Tottenham lack the intelligence and class of the Arsenal, but you know, if all the evidence points that way...

So on the 227th last day of my 20s, I did my tax, picked up my passport, and lost a little bit of my sanity. The GOMD flew out sometime in the morning, and she’s been on my mind the whole day. I keep seeing her face everywhere I go. I keep wishing I could’ve said something more. It reminds me of the Freedy Johnston song, Bad Reputation:

Suddenly I’m down in Harold’s Square

Looking in the crowd, your face is everywhere

Just turning around

Do you want me now?

Do you want me now?