Villa y Silva, por favor

"Now a section about asking for something. The simplest way to do this is by naming what you want, and then saying please."

- from my Learn Spanish CD

Lately, I've been thinking about learning Spanish. I like the language, I like the culture and I really like the football. One of my dreams in life is to do the Camino de Santiago de Compostela pilgrimage, and spend a month walking across the north of Spain. Another is to live in Barcelona, learn Catalan and shout independence slogans at dictatorial Madridistas. A third is to spend six months backpacking through Latin America. I doubt I'll ever do any of them, but I know that the first step for all these dreams is to learn Spanish.

So I'm starting with an audio book. It's pretty basic stuff, but I think I need some time to wrap my tongue around the pronunciations before I attend a class. And for this lesson, I'd like to say one thing to Arsene Wenger: David Villa y David Silva, por favor.

We need them both. David Silva is an awesome dribber with great ball-retention. Bung on out on the wing and we've got another Arshavin. David Villa is a lethal striker who, inexplicably, wasn't been bought by Real Madrid or Barcelona this summer. He's better than Benzema, he's better than Ibrahimovic, and he'd definitely better than van Persie, Eduardo and Bendtner. Can you imagine a forward line of Arshavin, Villa and Silva? My mind goes blank when I do. Too many misfiring neurons and too much acetylcholine in the synapses.

There are other players we require. At the top of the list is an experienced goalkeeper, a central defender, and a defensive midfielder. We're actually pretty well stock with creative, fragile playmaker-wingers and pacy central forwards. But still, Villa and Silva are better than what we have now, and they'd make us so good going forward that it really wouldn't matter that we've no one at the back.

I know it won't happen, and I know it's a gross conflict of interest with my newly anointed second side, but I still wish it would happen. What's the use of being the most financially buoyant club in the world if you can't splash out on superfluous signings every now and then?

Por favour, Senor Wenger.