Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Baked beans and pork sausages

"I think children in sweatshops are a good idea. Small hands are good for stitching fine details."

- me, to the Concern Ireland guy campaigning against sweatshops in India

I'm not sure why I said that. Shit-stirring, I suppose. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I ran into the guy on the street, in the rain, and he had such a nice, big umbrella. Wanted to keep him talking a bit while it rained. Also, I remember Ali G doing something similar on his TV show, and you know, monkey see, monkey do. 

It got a laugh out of him, anyway. 

In Cork at the moment. Grey, industrial city in the south, on either side of the River Lee. Apparently has a rapidly escalating heroin problem, and has been likened to Edinburgh in the "Trainspotting" days. It sure feels like Edinburgh when it rains. 

First day here, I was walking to Subway when I saw a guy abusing a couple of other guys about his car. A few minutes later, I saw an ambulance speeding to where the confrontation was. When I came back, the guys, the ambulance and the car were all gone. You do get a few characters around here, I suppose. 

Second day here, I went to Blarney Castle. I climbed the tower and got grappled by an old Irish guy who dropped me down the parapet to kiss a fecking stone. Now, I'm eloquent and full of the Irish blarney. Also full of baked beans and pork sausage, which is pretty much all I can afford here in Cork.

I'm wondering if I should spend a third day here, or whether to head up to Galway. The days are slipping away, and I've only a week in Ireland before the visa runs out. There's not a lot to see here, and I'm sure there's enough rain and Guinness and craic and blarney and other quintessentially Irish charms on the west coast. 


Anonymous said...

Hope things are well in Cork. Are you now reduced to quoting yourself. Your sister-in-law will be very interested to hear that you have kissed the Blarney stone.

I might be a good idea to visitio Galway; you never know when you will be in Ireland the next time around. When you are back in Oz, who knows when you will next see rain.

Your Brother

Anonymous said...

I couldn't think of anything else to quote, I'm not going to use U2, and I'm saving The Cranberries for a special occasion. I get stuck with quotes sometimes.

It was only after I kissed it that I heard locals like to urinate upon it. Whihc would explain why it's so smooth and white.