Lachter would be like a new signing

"Before anything else, Barcelona should make a formal offer. Then we can sit down and speak."

- Dennis Lachter, offering Arshavin up for transfer

Dennis Lachter is the best football agent in the world. He's unscrupulous, devious, bold, greedy, and persistent. And if that's not enough, he's just shown that he's completely dedicated to providing the best deals for his players - even if he's no longer working for them.

Arshavin and Lachter parted ways a couple of weeks ago, and yet Lachter's still trying to angle a move to Barcelona. I'm not sure why. There's no commission in it for him. My only guess is that Lachter is such a devoted agent that he's willing to pull for his player, without pay.

How many football agents in the world would do that?

I'm saying we should sign Lachter and give him responsibility for transfer negotiations. We need to turn his talents to good, instead of evil. If he was an Arsenal agent, our current negotiations with Fiorentina wouldn't be at an impasse - Melo would be ours, Eboue and Senderos would be out, and we'd probably even make a profit out of it. That's how highly I rate the guy.

As it stands, it seems that Wenger's really keen on Melo but he can't afford to pay £21.5 million. Instead, he's offering two players, plus cash. It makes you wonder how much transfer money we've really got left. Could it be that the purchase of Vermaelen wiped us out? Are we relying on the sale of Adebayor to fund additional purchases? Are we going to miss out on a DM if we can't move a few players on?

It's for reasons like these that I urge the Arse to sign Dennis Lachter.

Was Dindane A Target?

"The Ivory Coast international has also been linked with a string of Premier League sides during the close season, including Arsenal, Tottenham Hotspur, Aston Villa and Stoke."

- FourFourTwo, about the transfer prospects of Lens striker Aruna Dindane

Aruna Dindane is an Ivory Coast international striker playing for Lens in Ligue 1. He's been linked with a Saudi club (Al-Hilal), and a whole heap of Premier League clubs including Arsenal, but he insists that he's happy at Lens, saying:

"No one is pushing me away from Lens. I thank them for all they did for me when I was injured. If the club wants to sell me I can't do anything, it depends on the chairman."

I'm not trying to disparage this guy, but who is he, and when was he linked to the Arsenal? As far as I know, Arsene Wenger has taken an interest in Vermaelen, Chamakh, Benzema (briefly) and Melo, and no one else. Where did the name Aruna Dindane come from?

It seems that underneath the frenzied rumor-mongering of the transfer market proper lies a rich current of subterranean transfer rumors. This is the zone in which "Dindane to Arsenal" inhabits, swimming quietly in its murky depths until one day, it's hauled up into the light of newsnow. There it thrashes around in the unnatural sunlight, until it's to mercifully sink back to the bottom of the rumor market.

It makes you wonder how many other players are linked to the Arsenal, beknown to the world. There must be, literally, a hundred players linked tenuously to the Arsenal. I'm sure a lot of them don't even know they're linked to the Arsenal.

Actually, how do all these players get linked to Arsenal? It's interesting because we seem to be linked with a disproportionate amount of players, considering how few we seem to buy. Do you have to make a formal offer to the Arsenal? Or is there just a checklist of transfer-linked clubs on the press-release form, and most journalists tick the "Arsenal" box because it starts with an "A"?

I don't think we'll ever find out. And I don't think we ever want to. If we know the secrets of the transfer market, it'll ruin the magic of it. Rumors are to the transfer season what Santa is to Christmas - there's always the hope that if we've been good fans one year, the Wenger Claus will reward us with a shiny new player.

Whatever the case, good luck Aruna Dindane. We hardly knew you.

Keown Speaks

There's this really interesting interview with Martin Keown.

There's a whole world beneath the one that football fans inhabit. We tend to skim the surface of things - watch a match, read a report, scream abuse at a player - and have no idea what's happening below that surface. And hence, our version of the reality of a football club tends to be a bit skewed.

So it's nice sometimes to read an interview by a guy who's (presumably) still in the thick of things. Keown's played for the Arsenal, and he's coached our defence to a Champions League Final. He speaks with authority when he talks about Senderos and Djourou and the chances of them breaking into the Arsenal first team. And unlike most pundits, he's actually got an idea about how the club is being run, and why Wenger does the things he does.

I'm not going to go into it in detail, because it's worth a read by itself. However, I did want to comment about one revealing comment he made about the mooted rights issue:

"It’s an interesting angle as it appears that rather than buy shares in the club somebody is still willing to inject money".

It's strange that, despite all the billionaires and millionaires fighting for Arsenal shares at the moment, no one other than Usmanov is willing to put some of that money into the club. Money put into the transfer kitty isn't dead money - used properly, it can be considered a sound investment. Success and trophies are as much a guarantor of financial stability as bricks and mortar. The two kind of go hand-in-hand. After all, those season ticket paying fans wants to see something shiny at the end of the year. And you can't really expect to see success and trophies unless you've got a deep, experienced squad - something we sorely missed last year. Because as Keown put it:

"If I was a young player in the two semi-finals in the FA Cup and Champions League I’d have liked to have been able to look around that dressing-room and seen a bit more experience, just to keep me calm. There was plenty of raw ability but not quite enough experience."

Cesc to Barca... again

"Cesc is wanted by me, by the coach Pep Guardiola and by the sport director Txiki Begiristain. We are concentrating all of our efforts on it, but at the same time we have a lot of respect for Arsenal. We have positive relations with Arsenal so it will not be an easy topic to talk to them about."

- Jose Laporta, respectfully trying to tap up Cesc Fabregas

With friends like these, who needs enemies, hey?

I'm glad Barcelona have "positive relations" with Arsenal, because I'd hate to see what would happen if our relationship turned frosty. I'm imagining a midnight raid and a bottle of chloroform would be involved, followed shortly by a grainy video of Cesc with a gun to his head, imploring Arsenal not to try to rescue him because he's "very happy to be with his new friends".

The whole Cesc-Barcelona saga is getting a bit drawn-out. It's a bit like the closing stages of the Cold War - you know nuclear Armageddon could occur at the push of a button, but the threat's been around for so long that it's lost its power. Similarly, we know Cesc is going to leave us one day, but we've read these tap-ups so many times that it's a bit like "Duck And Cover".

Still, the end just might be in sight. Just as the Cold War ended in a whimper, so too might the Cesc War. This, from Arsene Wenger:

"I refused (Real Madrid) because I have built a young team and I have the feeling that I have not finished my job. I am not denying it will be a decisive season. If we are not in the title race, we will have to build everything again."

2009-2010 will be a decisive season. Either we shape up as contenders, or we'll rebuild. And I can't see Cesc sticking around for another lengthy rebuild. The boy wants trophies, and he wants them now. And in 2010-2011, he might be striving to win them in La Liga and not the Premier League.

It's an interesting quote from Wenger. After years of transition and false starts, after all the times he's defended his players for their lack of fight, lack of experience and even lack of talent, it's a refreshing admission. The youth project can end, and it might end soon. I hope Wenger prints this quote out and sticks it on the dressing room wall. It might give the boys something to play for - their careers.

Owen to Utd

"I've got skin thicker than 99.9% of the population and I have got used to it. I'll come back. I'll play well and score goals once more."

- Michael "The Elephant Man" Owen, about to sign with Man Utd

Maybe Ferguson knows something we don't? Because he's just about to sign Michael Owen, the man who most of the Premier League wouldn't touch in fear of catching "injury-proneness".

Whatever the reason, Michael Owen's got a medical at Old Trafford today, and could be playing for Man Utd next season. That's only if he passes a very stringent medical, of course. He's got a history after all, and you wouldn't want him unless he was okay. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if they got Owen to do some of those World's Strongest Man events just to make sure he's fit.

It makes you wonder, though. First they lost Ronaldo. Then they lost Tevez. Then they missed out on Ribery, and then on Benzema. And now, they've decided to latch onto Michael Owen. £80 million doesn't get you much these days, does it? I wonder what Man Utd fans are thinking; must be similar to what we gooner think every frickin' day.

But he's still a good player, is Michael Owen. He'll give you goals, if you can supply them. Bung him in a 4-3-3 with Berbatov and Rooney, and he'll have so many chances that even Adebayor could get a hattrick. The only problem is that he's pretty much just a poacher. And if you're fielding an ornamental footballer like Berbatov as well, that might be one passenger too many.

Oh well, we'll wait and see. Interesting one, this one.

Farsenal

"The club is fundamentally strong. I can say with confidence that provided we don't do foolish things, this will be one of the leading clubs in the world this year, five years from now and 20 years from now. This is not some experiment to see how successful we can be over the next couple of years, and who knows where we will be after that. This is a good, sustainable business."

- Ivan Gazidis, no longer sticking it to the man

I'm going to rescind my batch of "I ♥ Gazidis" T-shirts. There's no need for them. Ivan Gazidis isn't a tiger who fights for ordinary, glory-hunting gooners anymore. He's not a relentless negotiating machine, ready to sign players who match our ambitions. No, Ivan Gazidis is a corporate drone now, repeating the company line and supporting a "sustainable business" model for the Arse.

On a day when Real Madrid bought Karim Benzema for £30 million, that's sickening.

There's something terribly wrong with Gazidis' comments. Saying that Arsenal could be "one of the leading clubs in the world" in five years' time discounts the fact that we could be one of the leading clubs right now. We've got one of the highest turnovers in the world. We've got the devoted fan base. We've got £100 million in the bank. And we've got a manager who's still regarded as one of the best in the business.

All we really need is ambition. We need the ambition to actively look for success instead of waiting for it to fall into our laps. We need a few experienced signings, some discipline in the dressing room, and a serious focus on defensive training and set-pieces. That's it. And it's doable. Hire Keown as a defensive coach. Crack open the transfer kitty and buy a defensive midfielder and a striker. Crack down on the trouble-makers.

We're not going to get that, though.

We're going to get a "good, sustainable business". This means rolling along in 4th place, minimal expenditure on the transfer market, heavy investment in youth and raking in the profits from (hopefully) a sell-out audience. Instead of trying to compete with the Top 3, we're just going to sit back and hope for the rest of the Premier League to collapse under the weight of its debt. It's weak.

Gazidis also said this:

"The road we have chosen is a challenging one. It involves developing young players we believe can form the basis of a world-class team over the next five years. And at times along that path we have had to pay for player development through points. Certainly the team needs to turn potential into real results; they know it is time to step up."

This is what we heard the season after we sold Vieira. Why are we hearing it again? What happened to the intervening four years? Wasn't that supposed to be the transition period we claimed we needed?

Words fail me at a time like this.

The 'hoff is Off

"Amaury will be leaving after failing to make an impact during his one season at the Club. The Portuguese Under-21 international played most of his football in Neil Banfield’s Reserves but did make four substitute appearances for the first team."

- Arsenal.com, on one of our eight delisted players

Amaury Bischoff's signing was a strange one. Okay, he arrived on a free and didn't cost us much. And he had talent. But he was injury-prone, and had only featured once for Werder Bremen. Even Wenger admitted that signing him was a punt.

His year with the Arse was a bit underwhelming. He made played a bit in the Reserves and he got a few apperances in the senior team, but didn't really do anything to impress. I think he had four appearances for the team? It's saying quite a bit that he couldn't break into the first team, especially since we were playing Denilson-Song for quite a large section of the season.

So why did it happen? Why did Bischoff want to leave Werder Bremen?

We're talking about a strong German club with good prospects. They won the league recently. They offered him a contract extension, and obviously rated him. He hadn't played much senior football beforehand, and the sensible thing would've been to stay an extra year, get over the injuries and focus on winning a spot in the first team.

And yet, when the Arsenal came calling, he decided to jump ship and try his luck at one of the biggest clubs in the strongest league in the world. The jump between the Bundesliga and the Premier League is substantial. The jump between reserves football in the Bundesliga and first team football in the Premier League is even greater.

And yet, he decided to do it. He decided to take a punt, and he wanted to go for the exotic. He gambled on the chance that his potential was good enough, his body was strong enough, and his talent could develop fast enough to cope with the demands of the Premier League. I suppose it's one of those situations when you're either going to try, or you're going to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.

I supposed he's pretty gutted at the moment. The chance of playing for a club like the Arsenal comes along once or twice in your career. I always wonder what happens to players when they get delisted. It can't be easy bouncing back. I understand that he's fielding inquiries from a host of Portuguese clubs, so at least he's got a back-up plan.

Good luck, Amaury.