Summer Signings

"Clearly, you can prove anything with stats. So I never quote stats. But Chelsea, playing at home, did not control this game. Barcelone won 77.8% of their tackles, more than the home team's 69.8%."

- Myles Palmer, who says the darndest things

Myles wrote anther article as well, about how the Xabi Alonso transfer fell apart over £200,000. That was an interesting, albeit frustrating, read. But I chose the above quote because it's funnier, and cheers me up. Myles Palmer always unintentionally cheers me up. He's like a short-sighted mole with no peripheral vision. 

We could've used Xabi Alonso this year. He's an excellent player, and while he's not a like-for-like replacement for Flamini, he would have improved the team. We've all seen the impact Arshavin had on the side, and I figure Alonso would've done similar. We have a soft chewy centre at the Arsenal at the moment, and Alonso would've been a tough old nut floating in the middle of that caramel goo. 

I'm pinning my hopes on the fact that Ivan Gazidis is a guy who gets things done. He's like a bald-headed tiger. He couldn't look more tigerish if he painted orange and black stripes on his skull. He got down and dirty with Zenit St Petersburg over Arshavin. He's ready for the transfer season, ready to fight the sharks of Barcelona and Real Madrid over the juicy ewes at the Valencia fire-sale.

He's a tiger in a sea of sharks. The sharks might think he's easy prey because he's in the ocean and out of his comfort zone, but they forget that tigers have claws, teeth and the element of surprise. After all, how many sharks know that tigers are relatively good swimmers?

And meanwhile, Wenger is saying the same old things:

"I'm not chasing any player at the moment. I believe my priority is to stay with the squad we have. We will try of course to bring in one or two players to strengthen the squad... if we buy, it certainly won't be players who lack experience. We have enough of those."

It's something he's been saying since Vieira left and wasn't replaced by anyone of experience. Frankly, I'm sick of read it. Really, the only thing that makes me think that this season will be different is Ivan Gazidis. 

Growl. 

A Mixed Bag

"I want to write something good on Sunday or Monday. Something that nobody else would write."

- Myles Palmer, Arsenal News Review

Myles Palmer is now blogging about what he's going to blog about in three or four days' time. 

It's a novel idea, and one I wish I'd thought of myself. Which, I guess, shows the difference between a top, top Arsenal blogger and one that's struggling at Conference level. Here I am, struggling to think of something Arsenal-related to write about, and there's Myles, bold as brass, boasting about how it's so easy that he'll whip out something profound and unique in under an hour. 

Well, it's half an hour later, and I'm still no where closer to an Arsenal topic. There are a number of tantalising tidbits, but nothing to devote a post to. And I'm too tired to spin things. So it's going to be a mixed bag today. 

There's this piece where Wenger said that Senderos' move to AC Milan showed that there's a lack of top-class centre-backs in the world. It's a bit of a slap in the face to poor Senderos, and I would've thought that any blame for big Phil's arrested development should be laid at Wenger's feet. 

And this piece from the Arsenal website. Apparently, Wenger wants to win the Premier League - this year - and won't rule out making a signing in January if needed. It's always nice to know. I think a defensive midfielder and a centre-back would be nice. Apparently, Blaise Matuidi thinks he fits the bill. 

And finally, I'm about halfway through Persuasion, by Jane Austen. It's one of those "classics repackaged as chick-lit" books, and it's bound in pink and lavender. I felt a bit self-conscious reading it on the train to Budapest, but I can't really complain - my blog's decorated in the same girlish colours, after all. 

It's an interesting read, but more with regards to the subtext than anything that actually happens in the book. It's Jane Austen's last work, written in the autumn of her life, and you can almost see her pausing mid-sentence to think about all those things she'd change in her life, if only she had her time over. It lacks the sparkle of Pride and Prejudice, but it more than makes up for it in emotional honesty. I mean, Captain Wentworth just screams Tom Lefroy, doesn't he? 

I really should get out of the hostel and take a look around Budapest. Maybe have a goulash across the road. But I should use the bathroom first - that kebab's doing strange things inside me. 

Myles Wrote A Good Article!

"Unfortunately, Hill-Wood's attitude is : We are Arsenal, we have more integrity than other clubs, we've never renegotiated a contract with anybody in our history. That policy is old-fashioned, snobbish, and self-defeating. It's complete bollocks. Arsenal is a modern business like any other. And that's why they need a worldly CEO with some balls, rather than an administrator like Ken Friar."

- Myles Palmer, Arsenal News Review

I'm spending most of my time reviewing other Arsenal blogs. I really should rename this site "Fucking-Arsenal-Blogs", at least during the off-season. Observing how gooners react to Arsenal news is much more interesting than Arsenal news itself.

Myles Palmer has written a couple of really good posts lately, entitled "Arsenal: the big picture", about the finances behind the rather bizarre antics of this off-season. I don't presume to understand the credit crunch, or London property prices, or how a jittery financial market affects our 260 million pound loan. But it is interesting to read about it.

The above quote comes from the assertion that we're being shafted by our Emirates shirt deal. We're getting 6 million a year, compared to 14 million by Man Utd from AIG and 16 million by Chelsea from Samsung. We've got an shirt deal with an equivalent monetary value as Ajax's.

Moreover, we've negotiated a bunch of deals with a bunch of companies to finance our stadium deal. We've been shafted in the long-run, but we got the money upfront. And we're paying for it now because of the housing slump, because of the finanical meltdown, because Highbury Flats won't sell and we've got to put every pound we earn from the stadium back into the loan.

Problem is, we're being run by an idiot. Peter Hill-Wood is an idiot. There's no beating around the bush on this one. He's the scion of some very talented people, and he's got by on his connections, his wealth and his name. And he's the figurehead of a club that could become the biggest in England, but which is languishing behind Man Utd and Liverpool in terms of global reach, and which is being hunted down by a hungry, ruthless Chelsea. Isn't it weird that, for a supposedly big club, our three super-stores are all located in London?

We need Stan Kroenke. Not for his wealth, not for his connections, but for his business skills.

What did Myles write?

"Last night I wrote an ANR piece that was original and penetrating. Reading it this morning, it was one of those where I think, "The audience isn't ready for this." I do four or five of those every season."

- Myles Palmer, Arsenal News Review

Modest man, isn't he? Every year, he writes four or five pieces that are original and penetrating, and then files them away because we're not ready for them. Does that mean that during the other 360 days of the year, he writes unoriginal, obtuse pieces that the audience will lap up like perverts at a strip joint?

I like reading ANR. It's interesting. It's an Arsenal blog written by someone who isn't an Arsenal fan. He's got opinions that don't make a lot of sense a lot of the time, but that doesn't matter. It's sometime nice to have a second opinion.

I'd like to devote this post on speculation as to what Myles thinks Arsenal fans aren't ready for:

1/ Wenger should be sacked - can't be this, because it's repeated in every bar, on every blog column and newspaper article every time we lose. It's not original.

2/ Wenger should buy big name players - can't be this because I think we're ready to buy our Benzema and Ben Arfa shirts.

3/ Man Utd are great - can't be this because Myles says it in every post.

4/ Gallas should be stripped of the captaincy - can't be this because every tabloid in England has already made the same comment.

I've been racking my brains for the past ten minutes, and I can't think what could've been said that was both original and penetrating. Maybe it means that I'm not original nor penetrating, but we're not going to discuss that today.

Then again, perhpas I've been approaching this incorrectly. What's the one thing Arsenal fans aren't ready to hear? I think I've got it:

No matter how well you play, sometimes life isn't fair. Nothing to do but buck up, be a man and try again.

But it can't be that simple. Can it?