Papa don't preach

It's a pipe dream. Arsene Wenger has my number. He has not called and, if he does, how much? I would begin with a two and this would be followed by a high figure."

- Papa Diouf, a bit shitty about the prospect of losing Lorik Cana

Big Papa says that he's willing to part with Cana if we put in a high number with a 2 in the front. Unfortunately, we only seem capable of buying players with a "1" in the front. Such a shame.

There's a youTube clip of Lorik Cana doing the rounds lately. It's set to a high-tempo, blood-curdling rock song and it shows Cana diving into a lot of very bad tackles. On the evidence of that clip, the guy's an absolute nutter.

We should buy him.

It's a nice pipe dream. I remember reading somewhere that we need a combative central midfielder to compliment Cesc, rather than a positionally defensive player a la Gilberto, Barry or Alonso. Cana's so combative that he wears army boots on the pitch. He'll be like Flamini dressed in an Ironman suit, shooting bolts of lightening into unsuspecting defenders. He'll be like the Incredible Hulk, only in red and white and occasionally yellow. He'll be the kind of nasty bastard in the midfield we've lacked.

We won't buy him, of course. If we were serious, we would've done it when we bought Nasri. I suspect Papa Diouf (awesome name, by the way) doesn't want to lose half his midfield in one transfer season. Only the Arsenal are nutty enough to do that.