On Animus

an·i·mus –noun
1. strong dislike or enmity; hostile attitude; animosity.
2. purpose; intention; animating spirit.
3. (in the psychology of C. G. Jung) the masculine principle, esp. as present in women (contrasted with anima).

- from dictionary.com

I learnt a new word last night: animus.

I learnt it while watching this TV show called Skins. Great show. All about hedonistic British kids with drug habits and protected sex. Good writing, good plotting and great character development.

And it's educational.

I've never heard of animus before. It's the inarticulate, primeval rage that drives us to succeed. It's the competitive edge that makes us want to win. It's that little voice in our heads that pushes us to risk everything we've got in order to win everything we've ever wanted. It's that breath of life that God imparted onto Adam.

It's the thing I've never had. Ever.

It's the thing I've been missing. It's the thing I've been lacking. It's the void in my psyche that other people have that I don't. When I'm slumped at my desk, wondering what the fuck is wrong with me, it's the deficit that's staring back at me.

Camus once said that the only philosophical question in life is etre, "to be". Everything else is just window-dressing. And really, what else motivates a life except one's animus? I need this relentless, remorseless rage. I need this driving force in my life. Now that I know I'm lacking it, I need to find it. What the fuck is my animus?

Who says you never learn anything from TV?